Cheney Pushes to Invade Space

Considering how swell the Iraq war has gone, the Bush Administration is no longer challenged by mere countries or continents; they’ve now set their sights on the moon.


Paul Hellyer , a Canadian Minister of Defense has called for Parliament to hold hearings on exopolitics claiming that "UFOs, are as real as the airplanes that fly over your head."


When asked about what he knows about life, intelligence, and politics beyond our atmosphere, the Vice President grunted, “That’s classified!” and nodded to a black suited henchmen who nabbed the reporter and stuffed her into a van that sped off.


Hellyer warned, "The United States military are preparing weapons which could be used against the aliens, and they could get us into an intergalactic war without us ever having any warning.” He stated, "The Bush administration has finally agreed to let the military build a forward base on the moon, which will put them in a better position to keep track of the goings and comings of the visitors from space, and to shoot at them, if they so decide."


Many point out that the Canadians could do little more than swat at the skies with beaver pelts to begin with, but critics suggest that a forward base on the moon could be more about strategic weapons pointed at other countries.


In fact the CIA may already be training grays up there in boot camps. Some fear that once the little guys help us they may turn on us and form a new terrorist organization called Al-Quasar.


“If they wrap turbans around their huge heads, they could easily blend in and become taxi drivers,” said one skeptic.


Radio stations around the world have been buzzing since Hellyer’s call for disclosure. One show host suggested that the opening hearings might be a strategy formulated by American Intelligence operatives as a test balloon of sorts to gage public reaction.


While many international listeners called into show speculating about how advanced and kind extraterrestrials might be, one American caller may have summed up a whole nation’s attitude. “As long as I get my latte I don’t care what color they are and where they come from.”

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